Tansey That! The Memoirs of a Ghurka

Tansey's Log
Stardate :- Path Wednesday. Circa 1985⅔

There amidst the wreckage I lay broken on the field of battle, I had done all I could, and in hindsight boarding the deadly mechano-spider walker robot and punching the pilotin the throat might not have been the best course of action as I am not skilled or insured to drive such things.

My valkyries came to bear me away from this world, it was the strangest sight, I recognised them as Randy and Bill from Pear Halves wearing chain-mail bikinis, they were a band I listened to in my younger years back when the world was not under the oppressive yolk of Doomlord Headbutt Chinthrust.

They sang sweet melodies to me as we floated skyward, a song that was new to their collection, I was unaware of the title to this track but could understand that it was about being bored, then when I thought it was all over, there was a blinding light, and they sang once more with conviction, this time about a posh lady writing letters to a death-row inmate.

A second later I awoke in Derby Royal, apparently there had been an accident involving the use of an aerosol spray in an unventilated area, and I had been

tripping balls for the past few hours punching people in the throat.

My dreams were not entirely fake though, as I am certain that those songs were real, and somewhere in the dark, Doomlord Headbutt Chinthrust is waiting.

Get into contact with me if you see this man.

Chinthrust is a Bastard!

Uh, and oh yeah you should listen to these new tracks.

Reverend Colin Tansey
The Church of Impish Behaviour
Somewhere in Leicester behind a Wheelie Bin